I Didnt Mean to Push You Away

I’m sorry for every question that sounded like doubt, for every moment my voice made it seem like I didn’t trust your truth. It wasn’t you I was fighting— it was the noise in my own head, the echoes of things that hurt me before trying to rewrite something that was never broken. And I see it now… how it must’ve felt like I was pushing you away, when all I’ve ever wanted was to be closer to you than anyone I’ve ever known. I fell for you in the first week— not slowly, not safely, but all at once, like my heart didn’t even ask permission. And I fell hard… so hard that five minutes without you feels like a lifetime stretched too thin, like something is missing from my chest. There has never been anyone else. There still isn’t. Even now, across town, in a room that doesn’t feel like mine, you’re the only thing on my mind. And it hurts knowing you’ve been crying, hurts knowing I’m the reason your heart feels heavy tonight. I never wanted to be the one to make you feel alone. I’m sorry for the doubt, for the accusations, for making you carry the weight of things you didn’t do. You didn’t deserve that. You deserve trust. You deserve peace. You deserve love that doesn’t question your every move. And I swear— my love for you has never been fake, never been halfway, never been anything less than everything I have. I don’t know if I can undo the hurt, or if forgiveness will come easy… but I’m here, owning every mistake, hoping I haven’t lost the one person I never wanted to lose. Because I didn’t walk away from you— I was just scared you might one day walk away from me. And I love you… more than my fear ever knew how to show.