Poem Analysis - Are You There

Introduction: A Meditation on Love and Isolation

W.H. Auden's "Are You There?" is a thoughtful exploration of love's complexities, particularly the paradoxical experience of feeling both connected and isolated within it. The poem takes on a contemplative tone, examining various perspectives on love and its relationship to self and otherness. While the initial mood is analytical and questioning, it subtly shifts towards a more hopeful, almost speculative note in the final lines, suggesting the possibility of transcending loneliness. The poem uses carefully chosen examples to illustrate how different individuals grapple with love's inherent contradictions.

The Perpetual Ache of Connection

One of the main themes in "Are You There?" is the inherent tension between connection and isolation in love. Auden introduces this theme immediately, noting that "Each lover has some theory of his own / About the difference between the ache / Of being with his love, and being alone." This "ache" suggests that even in the closest relationships, a sense of incompleteness or separation persists. The poem does not offer a simple solution to this problem, but rather explores how different figures—Narcissus, Proust, even children—attempt to reconcile these opposing forces. The idea that love can simultaneously draw people together and highlight their individual loneliness is a central paradox the poem seeks to understand.

Ego, Otherness, and the Mirror of Narcissus

The figure of Narcissus serves as a powerful symbol within the poem. Auden states that "Narcissus disbelieves in the unknown; / He cannot join his image in the lake / So long as he assumes he is alone." Here, Narcissus represents the self-absorbed individual unable to truly connect with another because he is solely focused on his own reflection. The "lake" symbolizes not only his own image but also the potential for genuine connection, which he rejects. His inability to "join his image" suggests a fundamental failure to recognize or accept otherness. Narcissus's story emphasizes how ego and self-centeredness can prevent authentic love and connection, ultimately leading to a deeper sense of isolation. Narcissus's inability to see beyond himself is, the poem suggests, a barrier to true love.

Love as a Subjective Illusion

The poem explores the theme of love as a potentially subjective illusion, particularly through the reference to Proust and the elderly. "The elderly, like Proust, are always prone / To think of love as a subjective fake; / The more they love, the more they feel alone." This perspective suggests that love, with age and experience, can begin to feel like a construct of the mind, an idea that fails to fully satisfy the deep human need for connection. The phrase "subjective fake" is particularly striking, implying a deep-seated cynicism or disillusionment with the promises of love. The elderly, having perhaps experienced loss or disappointment in love, may come to view it as an internal phenomenon, separate from true shared experience, further enhancing their sense of solitude.

The Whispered Hope of Shared Experience

While the poem acknowledges the difficulties and contradictions inherent in love, it concludes with a glimmer of hope. The final two lines, "Whatever view we hold, it must be shown / Why every lover has a wish to make / Some kind of otherness his own: / Perhaps, in fact, we never are alone," offer a potential resolution. The "wish to make / Some kind of otherness his own" suggests a deep-seated desire to connect, to bridge the gap between self and other. The final line, "Perhaps, in fact, we never are alone," is not a definitive statement but rather a tentative possibility, a whispered hope that despite the challenges and disappointments, true connection might be possible. It is left open to interpretation, leaving the reader to ponder the potential for overcoming isolation through love.

Conclusion: Embracing the Paradox of Love

"Are You There?" is a complex and nuanced exploration of love's multifaceted nature. By examining various perspectives—from the self-absorbed Narcissus to the disillusioned elderly—Auden highlights the inherent tension between connection and isolation in human relationships. The poem does not offer easy answers, but instead invites readers to confront the paradoxes of love and consider the possibility of transcending loneliness through a genuine embrace of otherness. Ultimately, the poem's significance lies in its willingness to grapple with the difficult questions surrounding love and its potential, despite its inherent complexities, to offer moments of profound connection.