Sonnet 42: That Thou Hast Her, It Is Not All My Grief
Sonnet 42: That Thou Hast Her, It Is Not All My Grief - meaning Summary
Jealousy and Resigned Unity
The speaker confronts a painful love triangle: his beloved is also loved by his friend. He counts losses—her love for the friend and the friend’s gain of her—but reframes responsibility and blame by suggesting the friend and the beloved love each other partly because of his own affection. The sonnet ends with a consolatory, ambiguous claim of unity with the friend, using imagined oneness as a bittersweet solace for losing both.
Read Complete AnalysesThat thou hast her, it is not all my grief, And yet it may be said I loved her dearly; That she hath thee is of my wailing chief, A loss in love that touches me more nearly. Loving offenders, thus I will excuse ye: Thou dost love her because thou know’st I love her, And for my sake even so doth she abuse me, Suff’ring my friend for my sake to approve her. If I lose thee, my loss is my love’s gain, And, losing her, my friend hath found that loss; Both find each other, and I lose both twain, And both for my sake lay on me this cross. But here’s the joy: my friend and I are one, Sweet flattery! Then she loves but me alone.
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