To Aunt Rose

Aunt Rose—now—might I see you with your thin face and buck tooth smile and pain of rheumatism—and a long black heavy shoe for your bony left leg limping down the long hall in Newark on the running carpet past the black grand piano in the day room where the parties were and I sang Spanish loyalist songs in a high squeaky voice (hysterical) the committee listening while you limped around the room collected the money— Aunt Honey, Uncle Sam, a stranger with a cloth arm in his pocket and huge young bald head of Abraham Lincoln Brigade —your long sad face your tears of sexual frustration (what smothered sobs and bony hips under the pillows of Osborne Terrace) —the time I stood on the toilet seat naked and you powdered my thighs with calamine against the poison ivy—my tender and shamed first black curled hairs what were you thinking in secret heart then knowing me a man already— and I an ignorant girl of family silence on the thin pedestal of my legs in the bathroom—Museum of Newark. Aunt Rose Hitler is dead, Hitler is in Eternity; Hitler is with Tamburlane and Emily Brontë Though I see you walking still, a ghost on Osborne Terrace down the long dark hall to the front door limping a little with a pinched smile in what must have been a silken flower dress welcoming my father, the Poet, on his visit to Newark —see you arriving in the living room dancing on your crippled leg and clapping hands his book had been accepted by Liveright Hitler is dead and Liveright’s gone out of business The Attic of the Past and Everlasting Minute are out of print Uncle Harry sold his last silk stocking Claire quit interpretive dancing school Buba sits a wrinkled monument in Old Ladies Home blinking at new babies last time I saw you was the hospital pale skull protruding under ashen skin blue veined unconscious girl in an oxygen tent the war in Spain has ended long ago Aunt Rose