Poem Analysis - When First We Faced

Introduction: Love's Shadow of the Past

Philip Larkin's "When First We Faced" is a poignant exploration of love's complicated relationship with the past. The poem grapples with the realization that even in the most intimate moments, previous experiences and relationships cast a long shadow. The tone is initially romantic and appreciative but quickly becomes melancholic as the speaker acknowledges the undeniable influence of the past. A subtle shift occurs in the final stanza, transitioning towards a more accepting, albeit slightly resigned, perspective on love's inherent limitations and idealizing tendencies. The poem leaves the reader contemplating the impossibility of truly escaping the past, even in the face of new love.

The Unavoidable Presence of Previous Relationships

One of the central themes of the poem is the inescapable influence of past relationships on the present. The lines "There stood how much our meeting owed / To other meetings, other loves" directly acknowledge this debt. The speaker recognizes that their current connection is built upon a foundation of prior experiences, both their own and their partner's. The poem suggests that love isn't born in a vacuum; rather, it's shaped and colored by the accumulated weight of previous affections. This acknowledgment tempers the initial "excitement and the gratitude," introducing a somber note of realism. It highlights the impossibility of erasing or ignoring the emotional history that each person brings to a new relationship, ultimately adding complexity to what initially seems like a fresh start.

The Illusion of Reclaiming the Past

The poem delves into the theme of attempting to recapture or "colonize" the past through a new relationship, ultimately proving it to be a futile endeavor. The speaker reflects on the "decades of a different life" that their partner carries with her, experiences that are "lavished, lost" to others. The phrase "Nor could I hold you hard enough / To call my years of hunger-strife / Back for your mouth to colonise" speaks to the impossibility of rewriting history or erasing the past through the power of present love. The verb "colonise" is particularly powerful here, suggesting a forceful and potentially destructive attempt to claim something that cannot truly be possessed. This theme highlights the inherent limitations of love and the recognition that one cannot fully possess or control another person's past experiences.

Love's Idealistic and Impossible Aspiration

The concluding stanza addresses the inherent idealism within the concept of love itself. The poem explores the theme of love's desire to create a world devoid of history and external influences: "But when did love not try to change / The world back to itself--no cost, / No past, no people else at all." This suggests that love, in its most idealized form, seeks to create a bubble of exclusivity, a world where only the present connection matters. This is, of course, an impossible aspiration. The phrase "gentle-sharp" to describe the feeling of new love captures the bittersweet reality of this desire. It is "gentle" in its aspiration for purity and exclusivity, but "sharp" because of the inevitable realization that such a state is unattainable. This final theme emphasizes the inherent tension between love's idealistic desires and the complex realities of human experience.

Symbols and Imagery: Moonlight and Colonization

The poem uses several key images and symbols to convey its meaning. The opening lines mention "moonlight and the frost," which can be interpreted as symbols of both romance and a sense of cold reality. Moonlight often represents romance and illusion, while frost suggests a harsh, unflinching truth. These contrasting images set the stage for the poem's central conflict between romantic ideals and the undeniable presence of the past. The verb "colonise" is another crucial symbol, representing a forceful attempt to claim and control something that is not rightfully one's own. It highlights the potentially destructive nature of trying to rewrite history or erase the past through the power of present love. An interesting ambiguity arises when considering the speaker's motive; is the "colonisation" a benevolent desire to share experiences, or a more selfish attempt to possess the other person's past? This question leaves room for a deeper consideration of the power dynamics within relationships.

Conclusion: Accepting Love's Imperfect Reality

"When First We Faced" is a poignant meditation on the complexities of love and the inescapable influence of the past. Larkin masterfully explores the tension between romantic ideals and the sobering reality that love is never truly new, always shaped by previous experiences. The poem's significance lies in its honest and unflinching portrayal of love's limitations, acknowledging the impossibility of erasing the past or fully possessing another person's history. Ultimately, the poem suggests that true love requires an acceptance of these imperfections, recognizing that the "gentle-sharp" reality of a relationship is richer and more meaningful because of the past, rather than in spite of it.