The Ballad of G. R. Dibbs

This is the story of G.R.D., Who went on a mission across the sea To borrow some money for you and me. This G. R. Dibbs was a stalwart man Who was built on a most extensive plan, And a regular staunch Republican. But he fell in the hands of the Tory crew Who said, "It's a shame that a man like you Should teach Australia this nasty view. "From her mother's side she should ne'er be gone, And she ought to be glad to be smiled upon, And proud to be known as our hanger-on." And G. R. Dibbs, he went off his peg At the swells who came for his smiles to beg And the Prince of Wales -- who was pulling his leg And he told them all when the wine had flown, "The Australian has got no land of his own, His home is England, and there alone." So he strutted along with the titled band And he sold the pride of his native land For a bow and a smile and a shake of the hand. And the Tory drummers they sit and call: "Send over your leaders great and small; For the price is low, and we'll buy them all "With a tinsel title, a tawdry star Of a lower grade than our titles are, And a puff at a prince's big cigar." And the Tories laugh till they crack their ribs When they think how they purchased G. R. Dibbs.