Poem Analysis - Reluctance

Robert Frost's "Reluctance" presents a charming yet complex depiction of courtship, told through the voice of a speaker seemingly overwhelmed by a woman's allure. The poem's tone is lighthearted and playful, imbued with a sense of yearning and self-aware restraint. Despite the humor, a current of vulnerability runs beneath the surface, as the speaker struggles against his growing affection. The repetitive refrain adds a layer of both comedic effect and genuine plea.

The Complexities of Desire and Restraint

The poem’s central theme is the tension between desire and restraint, particularly within the context of romantic pursuit. The speaker repeatedly exclaims, "Bettah quit daihin' me," which at first seems to be a playful rejection of the woman's advances. However, it quickly becomes clear that he's not actually asking her to stop; instead, he's expressing his fear of succumbing to his own desires. Each stanza presents a new temptation – her attractive lips, her shining teeth, her tender hand – followed by the same plea for her to stop "daihin'" him. This repetition highlights the internal conflict between his longing for her and his perceived need for self-control. The line "How 'd you feel now ef I would?" suggests a fear of the consequences of giving in to his feelings, be they social, emotional, or otherwise.

Lost in Translation

It is almost impossible to ignore the fact that Robert Frost, a white author, chose to write this poem in African American Vernacular English (AAVE). This stylistic choice is undeniably problematic and appropriative, reflecting the historical context of minstrelsy and the exploitation of Black culture for entertainment. The poem's humor and perceived charm are therefore irrevocably tainted by this appropriation. The use of AAVE could be interpreted as an attempt to create a character who is simultaneously endearing and distanced from the societal norms of the time, but this interpretation does not excuse the inherent issues of cultural appropriation and the perpetuation of harmful stereotypes. Without acknowledging and examining this context, a sincere reading of the poem becomes impossible.

The Lure of Temptation

The vivid imagery in the poem focuses primarily on the woman's physical attributes, presented as sources of intense temptation for the speaker. Her "lips is full an' red," her "teef...w'en dey shine," and her "little han'" all contribute to the overall sense of allure. The speaker is particularly drawn to her smile, admitting "Ef you des set daih an' smile, / Bettah quit daihin' me." This suggests that her genuine happiness and warmth are what he finds most irresistible. The recurring image of her tempting him with her mere presence emphasizes the power she holds over him, even without actively pursuing him. The "pie" from the first stanza may also be interpreted as a symbol of temptation or reward, mirroring the overall theme of desire and restraint throughout the poem.

Loneliness and Yearning for Connection

Beneath the playful tone, there is a discernible undercurrent of loneliness and a deep desire for connection. The speaker confesses, "I 's so lonesome by myse'f, / 'D ain't no fun in livin' lef'; / Dis hyeah life's ez dull ez def." This revelation reveals a vulnerability that contradicts his initial reluctance. His yearning for companionship makes his resistance to the woman's "daihin'" seem more complex. It's not just about fear of giving in, but also about a deeper longing for intimacy and a fear of being alone. The desire to hold her hand and his wish that she would say she'd be his highlight his need for connection and validation, suggesting he is not resisting her, but is in fact, attempting to win her affections.

A Reluctant Surrender

"Reluctance" ultimately captures the internal struggle of a man caught between his desires and his fears. While the poem presents itself as a lighthearted depiction of courtship, it delves into the complexities of human connection and the vulnerabilities that lie beneath the surface. The speaker's constant refrain reveals his struggle to maintain control in the face of overwhelming attraction, ultimately leading to a somewhat humorous, somewhat endearing, and ultimately, problematic surrender to his feelings. While there is no clear resolution, the poem leaves the reader with a lingering sense of the power of desire and the longing for companionship and a call to scrutinize the work through a critical lens.