Poem Analysis - When I Think About Myself

Introduction: Laughter Through Pain

Maya Angelou's "When I Think About Myself" is a poignant reflection on a life lived under the weight of societal constraints and personal hardship. The poem initially presents a tone of dark humor, almost a coping mechanism through laughter. However, this levity is quickly undercut by the reality of the speaker's experiences, leading to a more complex and bittersweet mood as the poem progresses. It is a testament to the power of resilience in the face of adversity, expressed through ironic observation and a deep connection to family.

The Weight of Social Injustice

Understanding the historical context is crucial. Angelou, as an African American woman in the United States, lived through a period of intense racial segregation and social inequality. The line "Sixty years in these folks’ world, / The child I works for calls me girl," directly speaks to the demeaning treatment and disrespect Black individuals often faced, regardless of age or experience. The speaker's forced compliance, "I say ‘Yes ma'am’ for working's sake," highlights the economic realities that compelled many to endure such indignities. This context shapes the entire poem, transforming the initial laughter into a defiant act against a system designed to oppress.

Survival and Dignity

One central theme is survival in the face of systemic oppression. The speaker's laughter isn't simply joy; it's a shield, a way to process the absurdity and injustice of her situation. The lines "Too proud to bend, / Too poor to break," exemplify this theme. The speaker possesses an unwavering sense of self-worth but is simultaneously trapped by economic necessity. She will not be broken by the system, even if she must outwardly conform to survive. Her laughter becomes a subtle act of rebellion, a reclaiming of her agency within a constrained existence.

The Double-Edged Sword of Family

Another significant theme is the complex relationship with family, particularly as a source of both joy and pain. The speaker finds solace and amusement in the stories of her "folks," laughing so hard she "nearly died." However, this laughter quickly turns to tears, suggesting an undercurrent of sadness and perhaps even empathy for their struggles. The line "They grow the fruit, / But eat the rind," is a powerful metaphor for the exploitation and hardship they endure. It suggests that while they provide the essential labor ("grow the fruit"), they are left with only the scraps ("eat the rind"), highlighting the economic disparities that affect their lives. Thus family provides joy, but also a reminder of the systemic inequality they all face.

Laughter as a Coping Mechanism

The poem’s most prominent symbol is laughter itself. Initially, it appears to be a simple reaction to absurdity. However, as the poem unfolds, it becomes clear that laughter is a complex coping mechanism, a way to deal with pain, injustice, and the contradictions of her existence. It's a form of resistance, a refusal to be completely defeated by circumstance. The repetition of the phrase "When I think about myself" reinforces the idea that this laughter is deeply personal and reflective, a way for the speaker to process her experiences and maintain her sense of self.

Conclusion: A Legacy of Resilience

"When I Think About Myself" is a powerful exploration of resilience, dignity, and the complex relationship between laughter and pain. Through vivid imagery and a deceptively simple structure, Angelou reveals the profound impact of social injustice on individual lives. The poem's significance lies in its ability to capture the bittersweet reality of survival under oppressive conditions, where laughter becomes both a shield and a testament to the enduring strength of the human spirit. It serves as a reminder of the importance of remembering and honoring the experiences of those who have navigated hardship with grace and unwavering determination.