Poem Analysis - An Almost Made Up Poem
A Tender yet Bittersweet Reflection
Charles Bukowski's "an almost made up poem" unfolds as a melancholic love letter to a talented but troubled woman he never met. The tone shifts between fond reminiscence, regret, and resignation, blending Bukowski’s trademark raw honesty with unexpected tenderness. The speaker recalls their distant connection through letters, contrasting it with the woman’s chaotic life among the famous, ending with her tragic suicide. Though conversational and seemingly simple, the poem carries deep emotional weight, grappling with themes of love, loss, and the illusions of fame.
Themes: Unfulfilled Love and the Illusion of Fame
The poem explores unrequited or unrealized love, emphasizing the speaker’s bittersweet affection for a woman he knew only through words. Lines like "I loved you like a man loves a woman / he never touches" capture this longing, while the repeated references to letters underscore their emotional yet distant bond. Another key theme is the hollowness of fame. The woman’s involvement with "the famous" reveals their self-absorption, contrasting with her genuine, passionate artistry—symbolized by her "upper case poems / about ANGELS AND GOD." Fame, here, is a betrayal of authenticity.
Imagery of Loneliness and Loss
Bukowski uses vivid, haunting imagery to depict the woman’s despair. The "crying bench" by the river becomes a powerful symbol of her isolation, where she weeps for lovers who "hurt and forgotten" her. The "tiny blue hands" at the fountain in France evoke fragility and distance, hinting at her vulnerability. Even the mundane image of rolling a cigarette while listening to her "piss in the bathroom" contrasts with their unrealized intimacy, making her eventual suicide feel inevitable.
A Final Note on Fate
The poem’s closing lines—"It was best like this"—suggest a grim acceptance of their never-meeting, as if physical connection would have ruined their idealized bond. This resignation ties into Bukowski’s larger worldview, where love and suffering are intertwined. The poem’s raw, unpolished style mirrors its emotional honesty, leaving readers to ponder whether the speaker’s detachment is wisdom or self-defense.
It was best like this ... I lived a fairytale, in imaginations, I thought of me better that the 'famous' I knew I was capable of reciprocating affection, I cultivated new beliefs, I had a reason, I am losing it piece by piece daily, with you gone, all is drifting away, all that's not are the tiny pictures of you, standing here, beside the fountain you drank from as you wrote to me, I live the fantasy. I hope with the ANGELS AND GOD, you find happiness and love, all that you deserve and much more.