My First Affair with That Older Woman
My First Affair with That Older Woman - meaning Summary
Grief After a Fraught Affair
A first-person recollection of a dysfunctional affair with an older woman that mixes intimacy and cruelty. The speaker recognizes mutual self-destruction—drink, lies, desertion—and accepts his role as a transient companion. The relationship concludes in a hospital coma where she briefly recognizes him before dying. The poem closes with the speaker admitting he drank alone for two years, implying guilt, grief and a lingering sense of emotional ruin.
Read Complete AnalysesWhen I look back now At the abuse I took from her I feel shame that I was so innocent, But I must say She did match me drink for drink, And I realized that her life, her feelings for things Had been ruined along the way, And that I was no more than a temporary companion. She was ten years older and mortally hurt by the past and the present. She treated me badly: desertion, other men; She brought me immense pain, continually; She lied, stole; there was desertion, other men, Yet we had our moments, And our little soap opera ended with her in a coma in the hospital, And I sat at her bed for hours, talking to her, And then she opened her eyes and saw me: "I knew it would be you," she said, Then she closed her eyes. The next day she was dead. I drank alone for two years after that.
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