The Night I Was Going to Die
The Night I Was Going to Die - meaning Summary
Clinging to Life Through Small Acts
Bukowski narrates a fraught night when he feels his soul slipping away and repeatedly forces himself back into life by turning on lights and moving around. Isolation and longing surface—he imagines his daughter as a reason to stay, notes the absence of friends, and survives until dawn. The poem closes with a wry contrast: later fame brings noise and letters, but the core experience of loneliness and survival remains unchanged.
Read Complete Analysesthe night I was going to die I was sweating on the bed and I could hear the crickets and there was a cat fight outside and I could feel my soul dropping down through the mattress and just before it hit the floor I jumped up I was almost too weak to walk but I walked around and turned on all the lights and then I went back to bed and dropped it down again and I was up turning on all the lights I had a 7-year-old daughter and I felt sure she wouldn't want me dead otherwise it wouldn't have mattered but all that night nobody phoned nobody came by with a beer my girlfriend didn't phone all I could hear were the crickets and it was hot and I kept working at it getting up and down until the first of the sun came through the window through the bushes and then I got on the bed and the soul stayed inside at last and I slept. now people come by beating on the doors and windows the phone rings the phone rings again and again I get great letters in the mail hate letters and love letters. everything is the same again.
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