This Then
it's the same as before or the other time or the time before that. here's a cock and here's a cunt and here's trouble. only each time you think well now I've learned: I'll let her do that and I'll do this, I no longer want it all, just some comfort and some sex and only a minor love. now I'm waiting again and the years run thin. I have my radio and the kitchen walls are yellow. I keep dumping bottles and listening for footsteps. I hope that death contains less than this.
This Then - meaning Summary
Resigned Longing and Small Comforts
Bukowski presents a weary, repetitive view of love and desire where encounters blur into the same disappointments. The speaker admits to lowering expectations—seeking comfort, sex, and a minor love—while time thins and routine takes over. Domestic details and drinking underscore loneliness and waiting, culminating in a bleak wish that death might offer relief from this small, persistent dissatisfaction. The tone is resigned, plain, and starkly candid.
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