Poem Analysis - Cows In Art Class

Charles Bukowski's "Cows In Art Class" is a raw and introspective poem, characteristic of his brutally honest style. The poem begins with cynical observations about women and men, then transitions into a reflection on the speaker's internal conflict and artistic past. The tone shifts from bitterness and casual sexism to a more profound sense of self-loathing and a desperate search for meaning. The poem concludes with the speaker seeking solace, however temporary, in alcohol.

Bukowski's World: Cynicism and Disillusionment

Bukowski's work often reflects a deep cynicism born from his own experiences with poverty, alcoholism, and social alienation. His poems frequently feature gritty, working-class settings and characters struggling with despair. "Cows In Art Class" is no exception. The poem is set in a bar, a common Bukowski locale, and the speaker's reflections on love, life, and art are filtered through the lens of his own disillusionment. The poem does demonstrate, whether intentionally or not, many commonalities with toxic masculinty and misogyny through the speakers claims and comparisons.

Love, Hate, and the Self: A Battle Within

One of the main themes is the struggle with self-acceptance. The speaker declares, "I love and hate only myself," suggesting a profound internal conflict. This line signifies an inability to connect with others in a meaningful way, leading to isolation. Love and hate are presented as two sides of the same coin, and the speaker grapples with whether to direct these feelings inward, contemplating suicide versus self-love. This dichotomy is heightened by the earlier comparison of men and women, specifically how men can grow stronger from hate, while women need love to exist. The poem also explores the theme of artistic expression. The memory of painting cows, which looked "better than anything in here," highlights a disconnect between the speaker's artistic aspirations and the bleak reality of his current existence.

Cows, Beer, and Broken Glass: Symbols of Reality

The image of the cows painted in art class is a powerful symbol. They represent a simpler, more beautiful reality that the speaker feels has been lost. The fact that the cows looked "better than anything in here" indicates a dissatisfaction with the present and a longing for a more authentic connection. Beer is a recurring symbol of escape and temporary relief. The "golden piss of dull temptation" suggests both the allure and the ultimately unsatisfying nature of alcohol. Books, conversely, are portrayed negatively as "broken glass," implying a rejection of intellectual pursuits and a reliance on experience, however flawed. The orange is described as rolling away and outside of the speaker, this alludes to his own struggles in accepting things, or even people.

Which is the Treason?: An Existential Question

The central question, "kill myself or love myself? / Which is the treason?" is the poem's core. It underscores the speaker's existential crisis and highlights the ambiguity of his situation. Is it a betrayal to end one's own life, or is it a greater betrayal to succumb to self-loathing and despair? The poem offers no easy answers, leaving the reader to contemplate the complexities of human existence. The ending reinforces this theme with the image of drinking the beer fast in order to gain the love to go on, suggesting a temporary answer to the question.

Concluding Thoughts: A Glimmer of Hope?

"Cows In Art Class" is a poignant exploration of self-doubt, artistic frustration, and the search for meaning in a world that often seems bleak. While the poem is filled with cynicism and despair, the speaker's determination to "go on," fueled by a shot of whiskey, offers a glimmer of hope. The poem’s significance lies in its unflinching honesty and its willingness to confront the darker aspects of the human condition, reminding us that even in the midst of despair, the possibility of self-acceptance and continued existence, however tenuous, remains.