Poem Analysis - Now

Introduction: A Weary Writer's Lament

Charles Bukowski's "Now" offers a raw and unflinching glimpse into the life of an aging writer grappling with his legacy and the persistence of his craft. The poem's tone is a blend of weary resignation and defiant self-awareness, punctuated by moments of sardonic humor. The initial mood of quiet contemplation gradually shifts to a somewhat defiant acceptance, culminating in a mysterious, almost mocking invocation of the gods.

Context: Bukowski's Persona and Legacy

Charles Bukowski cultivated a persona as a hard-drinking, working-class outsider, a figure who rejected academic pretense and embraced the gritty realities of life. This image, whether entirely accurate or not, is crucial to understanding his work. "Now" reflects this persona, presenting a writer who has spent a lifetime challenging conventional literary standards and ruffling feathers within the established literary world. His background as a chronicler of the marginalized and disaffected informs the poem's unflinching self-assessment and its disdain for critics.

The Lingering Doubt: Pretending to be a Writer

One of the central themes in "Now" is the lingering self-doubt that plagues the speaker. Even at 71, with "rows of books behind me," the speaker still admits to "pretending to be a writer." This suggests a deep-seated insecurity, perhaps a fear that his success is somehow undeserved or that he is not truly worthy of the title. The phrase "Some damned gall" further emphasizes this sense of audacity, as if he is surprised that he has managed to maintain this "con" for so long.

Mortality and Legacy: The Inevitable Celebration

The poem confronts the theme of mortality and legacy head-on. The speaker acknowledges his aging body ("brain cells eaten away by life," "thinning hair") and anticipates the "time to celebrate" of his detractors. This suggests a recognition of his own mortality and an awareness that his critics will eventually have the last word. However, there is also a hint of defiance in this anticipation, as if he knows that his work will endure despite their disapproval. The phrase "Terribly overrated...Gross...An aberration..." spoken in the voices of his critics shows his awareness of his legacy, at least as it is perceived by some.

The Persistence of the Hustle: The Same Old Con

Another crucial theme is the enduring nature of the writer's hustle. The speaker describes his writing as "the same old con / That scraped me off the streets and park benches." This imagery paints a picture of a writer who has always been something of a hustler, using his words to survive and escape poverty. The fact that he is still at it, sitting "hunched over" in his yellow pajamas, underscores the persistence of this hustle and the addictive nature of the creative process. The reference to his Macintosh places the poem in the later stage of his life and highlights how he adapted to continue his writing process.

The Gods' Ambiguous Smile: A Final Ambiguity

The final lines, "The gods smile down, / The gods smile down, / The gods smile down," introduce a recurring symbol that is open to interpretation. Are the gods smiling in approval, amused by the speaker's persistence, or mocking his continued pretense? The repetition intensifies the ambiguity, leaving the reader to ponder the true meaning of this divine observation. The ambiguity of the smile leaves the question unanswered: is he blessed or being mocked?

Conclusion: A Defiant Acceptance

"Now" is a poignant and insightful reflection on the life of a writer nearing the end of his career. It explores themes of self-doubt, mortality, and the enduring power of the creative drive. While the poem acknowledges the speaker's flaws and the criticisms he has faced, it ultimately celebrates his resilience and his unwavering commitment to his craft. The ambiguous smile of the gods leaves us with a sense of unease, suggesting that even in the face of death, the writer remains an enigma, both to himself and to the world.