Rudyard Kipling

Army Headquarters

Army Headquarters - fact Summary

From the Seven Seas

Kipling mocks colonial patronage in a comic ballad about Ahasuerus Jenkins, a talentless yet charming regimental singer who wins the favour of Cornelia Agrippina and is shifted into a comfortable government sinecure. The poem satirises how social charms and connections, rather than merit, secure office and doubled pay. It draws on Kipling’s observations of British society and administration in India and their informal networks of influence.

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Ahasuerus Jenkins of the "Operatic Own," Was dowered with a tenor voice of super-Santley tone. His views on equitation were, perhaps, a trifle queer. He had no seat worth mentioning, but oh! he had an ear. He clubbed his wretched company a dozen times a day; He used to quit his charger in a parabolic way; His method of saluting was the joy of all beholders, But Ahasuerus Jenkins had a head upon his shoulders. He took two months at Simla when the year was at the spring, And underneath the deodars eternally did sing. He warbled like a bul-bul but particularly at Cornelia Agrippina, who was musical and fat. She controlled a humble husband, who, in turn, controlled a Dept. Where Cornelia Agrippina's human singing-birds were kept From April to October on a plump retaining-fee, Supplied, of course, per mensem, by the Indian Treasury. Cornelia used to sing with him, and Jenkins used to play; He praised unblushingly her notes, for he was false as they; So when the winds of April turned the budding roses brown, Cornelia told her husband: -- "Tom, you mustn't send him down." They haled him from his regiment, which didn't much regret him; They found for him an office-stool, and on that stool they set him To play with maps and catalogues three idle hours a day, And draw his plump retaining-fee -- which means his double pay. Now, ever after dinnger, when the coffee-cups are brought, Ahasuerus waileth o'er the grand pianoforte; And, thanks to fair Cornelia, his fame hath waxen great, And Ahasuerus Jenkins is a Power in the State!

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