No Thank You
No Thank You - meaning Summary
Playful Refusal of Pet Ownership
This short comic poem voices a speaker’s energetic refusal to accept a kitten, listing exaggerated miseries of pet ownership and escalating absurd alternatives. The tone shifts between mock horror and reluctant fondness, ending with a soft admission that the kitten is "kind of cute." It satirizes pet anxieties and the slippery logic of complaint, using repetition and cumulative complaints to build humor and a final ironic reversal.
Read Complete AnalysesNo I do not want a kitten, No cute, cuddly kitty-poo, No more long hair in my cornflakes, No more midnight meowing mews, No more scratchin', snarlin', spitters No more sofas clawed to shreds, No more smell of kitty litter, No more mousies in my bed. No, I will not take that kitten-- I've had lice and I've had fleas, I've been scratched and sprayed and bitten, I've developed allergies. If you've got an ape, I'll take him, If you have a lion, that's fine, If you brought some walking bacon, Leave him, here, I'll treat him kind. I have room for mice and gerbils, I have beds for boars and bats, But please, please take away that kitten-- Quick--'fore it becomes a cat. Well...it is kind of cute at that.
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