Robert Burns

Adam Armour's Prayer

written in 1786

Gude pity me, because I'm little, For though I am an elf o' mettle, And can, like ony wabster's shuttle, Jink there or here; Yet, scarce as lang's a gude kail whittle, I'm unco queer. An' now thou kens our waefu' case; For Geordie's Jurr we're in disgrace, Because we've stang'd her through the place, And hurt her spleuchan, For which we darena show our face Within the clachan. And now we're dern'd in dens and hollows, And hunted as was William Wallace, Wi' Constables, those blackguard fallows, An' Sodgers baith; But gude preserve us frae the gallows, That shamefu' death! Auld grim black-bearded Geordie's sell; Oh, shake him o'er the mouth o' hell, There let him hing, and roar, and yell, Wi' hideous din, And if he offers to rebel, Then heave him in. When Death comes in wi' glimmering blink, An' tips auld druken Nanz the wink, May Satan gie her arse a clink Within his yet, An' fill her up wi' brimstone drink, Red, reeking, het. There's Jockie and the hav'rel Jenny, Some Devil seize them in a hurry, And waff them in th' infernal wherry Straught through the lake, And gie their hides a noble curry, Wi' oil of aik. As for the Jurr, poor worthless body, She's got mischief enough already, Wi' stanged hips, and buttocks bloody, She's suffer'd sair; But may she wintle in a woodie, If she whore mair.

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