There Was Twa Wives

written in 1792

There was twa wives, and twa witty wives, As e'er play'd houghmagandie, And they coost oot, upon a time, Out o'er a drink o brandy; Up Maggie rose, and forth she goes, And she leaves auld Mary flytin, And she farted by the byre-en' For she was gaun a shiten. She farted by the byre-en', She farted by the stable; And thick and nimble were her steps As fast as she was able: Till at yon dyke-back the hurly brak, But raxin for some dockins, The beans and pease cam down her thighs, And she cackit a' her stockins.