Poem Analysis - I Ment To Find Her When I Came

Introduction: Loss and Unfulfilled Longing

Emily Dickinson's "I Meant To Find Her When I Came;" is a poignant exploration of loss and the speaker's struggle with the finality of death. The poem begins with a sense of purpose, quickly subverted by the realization that death has already claimed the intended recipient of the speaker's affections. The tone is initially regretful but shifts to a more melancholic and restless state, reflecting the speaker's inability to find peace after this loss. The poem conveys a deep sense of unfulfilled longing and the devastating power of death to thwart even the most heartfelt intentions.

The Dominance of Death and Thwarted Intentions

The poem's central theme is the inescapable power of death. Death is not just an ending but an active agent, personified as having a "design" and achieving "success" where the speaker fails. This personification emphasizes death's deliberate and almost malicious interruption of the speaker's plans. The first two stanzas highlight the contrast between the speaker's intentions ("I meant to find her," "I meant to tell her") and death's accomplished actions ("Death had the same design," "Death had told her so the first"). This juxtaposition underscores the speaker's helplessness in the face of death's inevitability.

Unspoken Affection and Lingering Regret

A significant theme is the unspoken affection and the profound regret it inspires. The speaker yearned for "just this single time" to express their feelings, implying a deep connection with the deceased. The brevity of the poem and the lack of specific details about their relationship heighten the sense of missed opportunity. The phrase "she had hearkened him" suggests that death's call was alluring or unavoidable, further emphasizing the speaker's powerlessness and fueling the lingering regret over their unfulfilled intentions.

Restlessness as a Consequence of Grief

The third stanza introduces the theme of restlessness and the speaker's inability to find peace after the loss. "To wander now is my abode" suggests a life permanently altered by grief, unable to settle or find solace. The comparison of "rest" to "a privilege of hurricane" is a powerful image. A hurricane, usually a destructive force, is being contrasted against the idea of rest. It suggests that even the most tumultuous storm would be preferable to the speaker's current state of tormented memory. The "hurricane" represents the speaker's internal turmoil and the relentless onslaught of memories that prevent them from finding peace.

Symbolism of "Hurricane" and the Torment of Memory

The image of the "hurricane" serves as a vivid symbol of the speaker's internal struggle. It represents the overwhelming force of memory and the emotional turmoil caused by the loss. The hurricane’s destructive power mirrors the destructive impact of grief on the speaker's ability to find peace. By associating rest with such a violent image, Dickinson underscores the depth of the speaker's anguish and the seemingly impossible task of finding respite from their sorrow. Is this hurricane a representation of all of the things the speaker wanted to say and do with the lost person? The poem leaves room for interpretation, prompting reflection on the individual nature of grief.

Conclusion: The Enduring Echo of Loss

"I Meant To Find Her When I Came;" is a deeply moving poem that explores the themes of death, lost love, and the enduring impact of grief. Through its concise language, powerful imagery, and shift in tone, Dickinson captures the speaker's initial sense of purpose, their subsequent disappointment, and their ultimate resignation to a life of restless wandering. The poem's significance lies in its ability to convey the profound and isolating experience of loss, reminding us of the power of death to disrupt our lives and the enduring echo of unfulfilled longings.