Emily Dickinson

I Years Had Been from Home,

I Years Had Been from Home, - meaning Summary

Fear of Returning Home

The poem depicts a speaker returning to a long-absent home but finding the threshold terrifying. Everyday elements—a door, windows, silence—become sources of anxiety, and the speaker retreats in shame and fear rather than re-enter. It conveys alienation from familiar places and an inwardized dread that immobilizes action. The final flight suggests avoidance and the persistence of inner terror over rational courage.

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I years had been from home, And now, before the door, I dared not open, lest a face I never saw before Stare vacant into mine And ask my business there. My business,–just a life I left, Was such still dwelling there? I fumbled at my nerve, I scanned the windows near; The silence like an ocean rolled, And broke against my ear. I laughed a wooden laugh That I could fear a door, Who danger and the dead had faced, But never quaked before. I fitted to the latch My hand, with trembling care, Lest back the awful door should spring, And leave me standing there. I moved my fingers off As cautiously as glass, And held my ears, and like a thief Fled gasping from the house.

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