Poem Analysis - If I May Have It When Its Dead

Introduction: A Morbid Obsession with Possession

Emily Dickinson's "If I May Have It, When It’s Dead" is a chilling exploration of love, loss, and the speaker's unsettling desire to possess her beloved even in death. The poem opens with a stark declaration of conditional contentment, contingent on inheriting the deceased lover. The tone is initially possessive and almost businesslike, but it gradually shifts to one of grief-stricken longing and a desperate attempt to maintain a connection with the departed. This poem reveals a complex interplay between devotion and a morbid fascination with death's power to bind.

The Unconventional Theology of Love and Death

One of the primary themes is the speaker's redefinition of love and death. Dickinson challenges conventional views by presenting death not as an ending, but as a gateway to a more profound, undisturbed connection. The line, "After a Life a Death We’ll say / For Death was That / And this is Thee," suggests that earthly life was a barrier to true intimacy, now overcome in death. Here, death itself is redefined as the former state ( "That" ), while the lover's deceased state constitutes the true, unburdened "Thee". The poem frames death as an opportunity for possession and ultimate intimacy that life had previously denied.

Grief as Sensory Deprivation and Reconnection

The poem deeply explores the theme of grief and its debilitating effects. The speaker vividly portrays the experience of loss through stark imagery: "How all the Clocks stopped in the World / And Sunshine pinched me ’Twas so cold." This suggests that the world has become frozen and hostile in the absence of the lover. Grief manifests as sensory deprivation – time stops, warmth vanishes, and the soul becomes "deaf and dumb." This emotional numbness leads to a desperate attempt to reconnect, even if only through "making signs across to Thee," highlighting the speaker's yearning to bridge the gap created by death and maintain a semblance of communication.

Symbols of Possession and Transgression

Several key symbols recur throughout the poem, most notably the grave and the key. The grave, typically associated with finality and separation, is transformed into a site of potential union and possession. The lines "Until they lock it in the Grave, / ‘Tis Bliss I cannot weigh / For tho’ they lock Thee in the Grave, / Myself can own the key" powerfully illustrate this. The "key" symbolizes the speaker's perceived ability to transcend death's limitations and maintain access to her beloved. It represents control and the speaker's determination to possess her lover even in death. Furthermore, the act of wanting to "stroke thy frost" and claiming that this "Outvisions Paradise!" suggests a transgression of accepted boundaries between life and death. This unsettling image underscores the speaker's desperate desire to be near her lover, even if it means embracing the morbid and defying conventional religious expectations.

Calvary and the Paradox of Playful Grief

The reference to "those Old Times in Calvary" presents a complex image. Calvary, the site of Christ's crucifixion, is a place of immense suffering. However, the speaker imagines looking back on their shared grief with a sense of "Play," creating a disturbing paradox. Perhaps she is suggesting that even in the darkest moments, there's a shared experience and a unique bond formed through suffering. The idea of looking back at intense emotional pain with a sense of "play" is unsettling and perhaps suggests a psychological coping mechanism or a darkly humorous perspective on their shared sorrow. What does it mean to find 'play' in the memory of suffering experienced at "Calvary?"

Conclusion: A Final Embrace of Mortality

In conclusion, "If I May Have It, When It’s Dead" is a poignant and disturbing exploration of love, loss, and the human desire for connection. Through vivid imagery and unsettling symbols, Dickinson portrays a speaker grappling with profound grief and an unconventional desire to possess her beloved beyond the boundaries of life and death. The poem's significance lies in its unflinching examination of mortality, the complexities of love, and the unsettling ways in which grief can warp our perceptions and desires. The speaker's embrace of the morbid ultimately reveals a deep longing for connection that transcends the limitations of human existence, leaving the reader with a lingering sense of unease and a profound appreciation for the complexities of the human heart.