Poem Analysis - If She Had Been The Mistletoe

Introduction: A Gift of Second Choice

Emily Dickinson's "If She Had Been The Mistletoe" is a compact poem of romantic resignation and perhaps, subtle rebellion. The poem opens with a wistful "what if" scenario, quickly pivoting to an acceptance of a less desired role and a deliberate act of sending affection elsewhere. The tone shifts from initial longing and a hint of playful drama to a firm, almost defiant, acceptance. The overall impression is one of quiet strength in the face of romantic disappointment.

Theme: Love, Loss, and Acceptance

One of the core themes explored is that of love and its potential for loss. The opening lines depict a hypothetical, idealized scenario of romantic union, implied through the imagery of mistletoe (traditionally associated with kissing) and a rose, a symbol of love. However, this ideal is immediately contrasted with the reality of the speaker's actual position. This leads to the theme of acceptance. The speaker acknowledges her situation ("Since I am of the Druid...") and consciously chooses a different path, turning perceived disadvantage into a form of agency. The poem also touches on a subtle theme of romantic rivalry, as the "she" is presented as the more conventionally desirable love object.

Imagery and Symbolism: Mistletoe, Rose, and Druid

The poem relies heavily on symbolism drawn from the natural world. The mistletoe, traditionally associated with Christmas and kissing, represents a conventional, perhaps superficial, expression of love. The rose, a classic symbol of romance and beauty, reinforces this idea. By contrast, the speaker identifies herself as "of the Druid," connecting herself with ancient, perhaps pagan, traditions. This image suggests a deeper, less conventional connection to nature and a rejection of societal norms. The "Druid" imagery could represent a type of wisdom or knowledge that the "she" figure, who is “of the dew”, lacks. The “dew” is fleeting, where as druidism is something more long lived.

An Act of Quiet Rebellion: The Buttonhole and the Rose

The act of decking "Tradition's buttonhole" and sending the Rose away is significant. "Tradition's buttonhole" can be interpreted as a symbol of societal expectations and conventional romance. By decorating it, the speaker seems to be participating in, yet simultaneously mocking, those expectations. Sending the rose "to you" suggests a deliberate redirection of affection, perhaps to someone considered less desirable or someone who might appreciate a less conventional form of love. This could be seen as a subtle act of rebellion against societal norms regarding love and relationships. Is the speaker sending the Rose to the object of her affection or to a rival, as a form of dismissal, since the speaker is "of the Druid"?

Conclusion: Finding Strength in Second Choice

In conclusion, "If She Had Been The Mistletoe" is a poignant exploration of love, loss, and acceptance. Through vivid imagery and subtle symbolism, Dickinson crafts a narrative of romantic disappointment transformed into a quiet act of defiance. The speaker, denied the conventional role of the "mistletoe," finds strength and agency in her unique identity, choosing to redefine the terms of affection and connection. The poem ultimately suggests that true love and fulfillment can be found even outside the bounds of societal expectation. The meaning is found in embracing individuality.