Poem Analysis - You Taught Me Waiting With Myself

Introduction: Learning Through Absence

Emily Dickinson's "You Taught Me Waiting With Myself" is a poignant reflection on loss and the lessons learned in the wake of a significant absence. The poem begins with a tone of gratitude, acknowledging what the departed individual has imparted. However, this initial gratitude evolves into a deeper exploration of suffering, acceptance, and ultimately, a yearning for spiritual validation. The mood shifts from respectful acknowledgment to a somber contemplation of death and its impact on the speaker's relationship with both the deceased and her faith.

Enduring Lessons: The Gift of Patience and Fortitude

One of the central themes of the poem is the acceptance of suffering. The speaker directly states, "You taught me fortitude of Fate / This also I have learnt." This suggests that the deceased, either through their life or their death, instilled in the speaker a resilience against the hardships of existence. The "Waiting with Myself" in the opening line implies a profound self-reliance and patience cultivated through loneliness and the absence of the other person. This enforced solitude has paradoxically become a valuable lesson, a form of inner strength that allows the speaker to endure "Fate."

Death as a Teacher: Surpassing Life's Bitterness

The poem engages with the theme of mortality, not just as an end, but as a continuation of hardship. Dickinson writes, "An Altitude of Death, that could / No bitterer debar / Than Life had done before it." This striking image suggests that death holds no more terror or deprivation than the speaker has already experienced in life, perhaps due to the absence of the beloved. The speaker acknowledges death's power, but equates its potential for bitterness to the speaker's prior painful experiences, thus diminishing death's emotional impact.

Seeking Acceptance in the Afterlife: A Plea for Recognition

The final stanza introduces a plea for spiritual recognition. The speaker desires that the "Heaven" the deceased now inhabits will allow them to "understand / That you be not ashamed / Of Me in Christ’s bright Audience." This yearning for acceptance transcends earthly limitations and enters the realm of the spiritual. The image of "Christ's bright Audience" is a powerful symbol of judgment and validation. The speaker worries about being judged negatively in this divine setting and hopes the deceased will understand and perhaps even advocate for them. This suggests a complex relationship between earthly love, faith, and fear of divine disapproval.

Symbolism of the "Further Hand": Ambiguity and Distance

The phrase "Upon the further Hand" is a recurring symbol that contributes to the poem's overall message. It is ambiguous; it could mean the 'other' hand of the deceased, suggesting closeness and support even after death. However, given the context of divine judgment, it more likely symbolizes a significant distance – a separation between the speaker and the deceased in the afterlife, where the 'further hand' represents the realm beyond earthly reach, the sphere of divine judgment. It emphasizes the speaker's vulnerability and her desire for the deceased's continued affection and approval even in this new and potentially daunting spiritual landscape. Perhaps it could be argued that the deceased is no longer on this earth with her, now she must seek the aid of God to be reunited with them one day.

Conclusion: A Legacy of Loss and Hope

In conclusion, "You Taught Me Waiting With Myself" is a moving exploration of the lessons learned through loss. Dickinson masterfully portrays the themes of suffering, mortality, and the yearning for spiritual validation. Through vivid imagery and shifts in tone, she conveys the speaker's journey from initial gratitude to a profound contemplation of death and the afterlife. The poem's significance lies in its ability to capture the complex emotions surrounding loss, highlighting both the pain of absence and the enduring hope for connection and acceptance, even in the face of mortality and divine judgment.